A year ago was my second ever blog post: Resolutions. At that time, I was still writing for myself and had not yet shared publicly my 2012 resolution to use my experiences doctoring to be a better mom. A year later I can say that I have honored that resolution and use my daily experiences in the office to inspire and guide my parenting decisions and reactions. I am definitely a better mom as a result.
This year I have been thinking a lot about what my resolution should be, and now I have a much broader audience to hold me to it.
Parenting a toddler makes you feel powerless. It’s hard to predict when the next tantrum will strike, what food will end up in his mouth or on the floor, and how quickly he will learn new skills (like jumping off the stairs). Our parenting approach is often a tag-team effort, meant to give one of us a break while the other keeps our toddler alive. While we each get quality time with our son, we end up seeing less of each other.
On vacation with family for the holidays, my husband turned to me on day 3 and said, “Oh hey, how are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you.” This is representative of our lives currently, where we see each other all the time, but we aren’t actually connecting due to the many interruptions of life. In the process of becoming better employees, homeowners, and parents, we have become worse spouses. So it became obvious that my 2013 resolution should be to work as hard at being a wife as I do at being a mom. These roles should be complimentary and not contradictory. Reflecting back to the lessons learned in 2012, I’ll listen to the advice I’ve given many parents: a cohesive team of loving parents will lead to a happier toddler and teach him valuable lessons about relationships as he begins to navigate his own.
What’s your 2013 resolution?
Great resolution! I love it!
This is so true! I always think of a line from Before Sunset, when Jesse (Ethan Hawke) describes his marriage: “I feel like I’m running a small nursery with someone I used to date.” It’s hard, but important to nurture your marriage in spite of competing demands on your time. In our case, a pair of newly identified babysitters have been key. Two hours across a table from your spouse without any food ending up in your hair can feel like a weekend away!
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Aloha,
What a wonderfully important resolution. I often forget how very much I need and have the best teammate in my husband, and how much that means to the boys we are raising together.
I’ve made it my silly little goal to stop by and follow/ say “hey” to every mom on our bloggy mom hop this month. It’s so sweet to be on this journey with you.
If you’re up for a bit of a ride I’d love, love, love for you to join me at Local Sugar Hawaii where we’re riding the wave of life together, one adventure at a time. And this weekend we’re ringing in the new year together at An Aloha Affair. You can link up all of your creative work and share it with other sweet souls looking to make meaningful connections. Stop by anytime, you’re always welcome.
Happy New Years to You and Yours.
xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com
Nicole,
Thanks for stopping by and for letting me know about your blog and Aloha Affair. I hope you continue reading!
Happy New Year!
Oh so true Katie.
We finally started doing ‘date nights’ every month or so just before Emma turned 2. This helps, but it also is hard to find the time/energy to connect just from a day to day basis. Sometimes I feel so brain-dead and energy-less come the end of the day, I just want to curl up with a book for a few moments, turn on a silly movie, or go to sleep!
Good luck–I’m sure you’ll find that happy medium.
Thanks, Rae!